Shyness often does not allow us to do what we want. This trait is inherent to almost every person regardless their age, gender, profession and so on. Men, women, children, adults, students, engineers, managers feel shy. But is there anything we can do to change it? Sure! In this essay on confidence we will tell you what to do to get rid of timidity and develop confidence.
Do not feel shy
Communication psychology: shyness is not one of the genetic factors. There is no such a gene that responds for timidity. It is something that is formed inside us under the influence of the surrounding, family, successful or failed moments in the life. James Victore is an author, art director, and owner of the independent school of design. In addition he is professor and every semester makes improvised study on students’ shyness simply asking them who thinks that he or she is shy. Every time at least three quarters of students raise their hands. James tells about his own life experience that is very familiar for almost everyone.
“In my childhood I was very timid kid. I do not believe I was born with this trait. But I was always introduced in such a way: “This is our boy. He is a little bit shy…” So I started being shy! It became my habit. A person, whom I respect, said that I was shy, so I began feeling shy all the time as if I was born like this.”
Unfortunately, being an adult you understand that this habit disturbs you a lot. When you are in an unknown public place or in front of camera, you have to pretend someone else as if you feel calm and confident. Years of practice help to make you fear less obvious, but every time when you are in such a situation, you have to show courage to overcome your shyness.
It means that shyness is just a habit and not your personal trait given from your birth. As well as the confidence. It is one of the traits, such as will or intuition, that we can develop and train. But as any other training it is not that easy and you have to practice all the time. And what is more important you need to realize it.
As they say you need to be right here and right now, remember about you main aim and not to be distracted by other thoughts. Do not listen to that fearsome critic inside you and do not imagine what others think about you, do not discuss them or try to predict their reaction. Just move on and do it confidently!
Life of most people is connected with a daily fight with timidity. All the time they have to leave their comfort zone. This is followed by exhausting emotions, constant anxiety and feeling of a deep sense of diffidence. Your inner critic start saying: “I am too stupid, too ugly, too young… Nothing is going to work… Everyone will be laughing or they will not even look at me…”
Why do we start thinking in such a way? What so terrible can happen to us? We are just afraid of a failure. Most people are afraid of it so much that they prefer not to risk. What is worse, risk becomes something that they try to avoid at all costs. The habit is formed in such a way. We do not give ourselves opportunities to have a contact with other people and to see their reaction to what we do.
The fear of rejection is normal. Everyone has periods in life when we feel unconfident. Someone feels it just for a couple of seconds, others – much longer. Fear sis a challenge. It means you should pay attention to something, show your willpower and not to lose courage.
Doubts come not from inner critic only, but also from outside: from friends, family and “well-wishers”, who try to protect you from worries and keep you in your (or their own) comfort zone. Trust yourself, look your fear in the eyes, and do not follow the public call “be like everyone else”.
Your ambition for confidence stimulates others to fight their fears. Your freedom from fears is a reminder for other people that their shyness is mock and that they have lots of restrictions which they created themselves. Your confidence will be a lighthouse for others. It is human nature to follow those who are courageous, strong and confident. Confident man is a powerful motivator for others.
The point is not to create armor in the form of an alternative Superego or to awaken the indomitable inner spirit… It is important to be on the alert and not to let the fear to rule your life, so that you are able to accept yourself as you are, and to overcome fear and doubts calmly. Confidence does not exist under the fear and doubts control, it takes them as a part of a life.
Confidence gives courage and freedom to move on, ask for help, and demand more and what you deserve. The most important is that a confident person takes a failure calmly if it happens.
How to increase self-confidence, cultivate and develop self-concept
Increasing self-confidence is the key to many doors of life.
Everyone knows that confident person easier makes contacts, solves the problems, faster moves up the career ladder, more fully self-realizes and consequently is happier. That is why you should develop self-confidence. We offer you 12 steps that can help you change your self-concept and teach you feel confident in different life situations.
Step 1. Decide what is important to you, what you believe, what life you would like to have. Analyze your plans and evaluate them in terms of the present day to use it when you see the first changes.
Step 2. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Time to time try to analyze your past but do not let it control you. Make room for pleasant memories. You past will stay in you memory until you get rid of it yourself.
Step 3. Guilt and shyness will not help you succeed. Do not let them take control over you.
Step 4. Look for the reasons of failure inside you. When you blame country, circumstances, other people, you reject the role of the master of your life. Successful person is ready to change and faces challenges with dignity.
Step 5. Do not forget that you can look at any situation from different sides. Such an attitude can make you more tolerant and help you react to injustice calmly.
Step 6. Never talk about yourself in a bad way. Especially avoid saying that you are “stupid”, “unable”, “miserable”. It can develop in the subconscious undesirable stable stereotype.
Step 7. Your actions can be evaluated in different ways. If someone constructively criticizes your actions, take it into consideration. But do not let others criticize you as a personality.
Step 8. Remember that sometimes failure is luck. Thanks to failure you can make certain conclusions that first of all you set wrong goals, which were not worth your efforts, and second of all you managed to avoid further and maybe even more serious problems.
Step 9. Your positive attitude to life is the key of well-being, inner balance, and high spiritual health. It depends on you what life you have. Life is too short to waste it on depression.
Step 10. Give yourself some time to relax, listen to your thoughts, do what you love, spend some time alone. It will help you to understand yourself better. Such moments give you opportunity to accumulate energy to make important and serious step up.
Step 11. Choose a couple of big goals and a set of smaller goals you need to achieve. Thoroughly think what means you need to reach your goals. Do not forget to encourage and praise yourself.
Step 12. Be confident. Remember these words: You are not passive object that constantly faces troubles. You are the top of the evolutionary pyramid, exclusive personality, active maker of your life, you rule the situation! You are the master of your destiny!
So struggle with your bad habits (and as we have just figured out shyness is one of them), conquer your fears that hinder success. And visit one of the best essay writing service Livecustomwriting.com. We can help you make your life better.