Life is not an easy thing. Every day we communicate with persons and not all of them are kind for us. It is not surprising that somebody can offend us or embarrass us and it depends only on us what our reaction will be. You can forgive at once (but it rather difficult) or you can spoil your mood and permanently offend. There are different situations and different people, and of course, different reactions.
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From the very beginning of our essay we are going to talk about forgiveness in general. And in the second part we will give you some useful advices, following them you will notice that your life is going to change for the better.
I think that during the life everybody thinks about forgiveness: what is it, why do we need it and what it can do for us. We heard that forgiveness can make miracles. Was it a usual joke or the real life truth?
Have you ever offended? Have you ever offended someone? Of course, you have. There are no such people at all who were never offended. The ability or inability to forgive – it is the main difference between people. And it is very difficult to carry in yourself the offense. So you should learn to forgive people. There are a lot kinds of offenses, and a lot of reasons, but if you want to be really happy, you have the only one way – to forgive.
Relationships between people are formed in different ways. We make different actions, good and bad. We can help each other in business, fulfill desires, to comply with requests. But it happens, we are lying, we cannot make a promise, we are quarreling. Often we offend those whom love most of all, we can talk such cruel things we are not thinking in reality. We can hurt somebody, and offend him/her, perhaps without noticing it. If it is important for us, we must try to apologize.
The ability to ask for forgiveness and to forgive is a sign of a strong personality. It is to overcome your anger and the recognition of your own mistakes. The secret of forgiveness is that it is "unfair", we can only forgive at that moments, where we can keep the offense and resent. So, the beginning of forgiveness is a rejection of the revenge, the rejection of the desire to hurt someone who has hurt you.
Forgiveness helps us to feel free, and helps to get rid of offenses that occupy our mind and heart. Forgiveness is a way of self-realization.
How To Forgive
How to learn to forgive? It is necessary for a moment to imagine yourself in the place of the offender. It is hard for him, frustrating and disappointing that somebody does not accept his apology. Furthermore, we must not forget that we also hurt someone and we felt guilty at that time.
Forgiveness is necessary for all, and from the heart. If you remember the offense, then, means you don’t forgive. When you forgive other person try to forget. Sometimes it is difficult to forgive yourself. In essay on crime and punishment we can see how the main character suffered because he couldn’t forgive his crime.
Jesus Christ taught people to forgive. He understood that it is one of the difficult bet very important things in our life. The life of Jesus was a real example of forgiveness. In Bible we can read a lot about how we can return good for evil. And it is not an ordinary words, it is the truth. If forgive others, it doesn’t mean you will have no enemies. But it means that you will always have a peace in your heart. In Bible we can find such a rule - all those things, then, which you would have men do to you, even so do you to them: because this is the law and the prophets. And now a lot of psychologists wrote many works on this topic. They create some important rules or advices, which can help us forgive. Here are some of them:
1) To feel unforgiveness by yourself. Try to remember what your feelings were, when you offended others. I don’t believe you were happy at that moment, probably you had a bad mood, was tiredness and angry.
2) To analyze the causes of quarrel. Make your mind easy and think what happened and what the reasons were.
3) Find all the pros and cons of the situation. You can write on a piece of paper all the "pros" and "cons" to understand the importance of a close friend, even though he is far from ideal. Pleasant moments in life certainly crossed consequences inflicted injury.
4) Try to imagine your offender and create a dialog. Psychologists say that sometimes it is enough to imagine the “enemy” and try to explain your emotions at the time of the quarrel. Talk about offense and say "thank you" for the precious experience. Then repeat the phrase several times: "I sincerely forgive you."
5) Forgiveness is not simple and not for wimps. However, clever people understand that most of all the forgiveness is necessary for themselves. Offenses cannot leave us at once, as if by a magic wand. There is no universal prescription for everybody, but you should try.
6) Call to that person who offended you and arrange a meeting. Talk heart to heart, drink a cup of coffee, hug and continue to live. Remember, that ask for forgiveness not the one who is guilty, but the one for whom your relations are very important.
I think you need to forgive anything and everything, even the betrayal of a friend. Resentment and revenge destroy us. They can be persuasive today and tomorrow devastating. They bring pleasure only for the moment. We have no right to judge. Let the God to judge everybody. Try not to keep heavy thoughts in the heart. There should be only bright and noble feelings. Forgiveness is goodness. Let's be generous and, perhaps, the world will be more bright and kind!