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Conflicts with classmates: the causes and solutions
Changing the team is always exciting and frightening, so when you are the first year student, one of the most important questions which you are worrying about is how to get along with fellow students and find many friends. Many people hope that others will love them, but they are afraid in reality. First minutes in a new team is always very difficult. People are worrying that in the team there are always people who can ruin your life. Today we decided to tell you more about conflicts among students. Conflicts are very popular phenomena nowadays.
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Why do conflicts arise?
Conflict is a reaction to a certain situation. There are people who are very sociable and to communicate with them is very hard. Unfortunately, not everyone is very communicative. But if you were lucky enough to have this feature, then it will be easy for you to adapt in any association. Why do students have conflicts? Situations are different, but we try to describe the most common.
1) Same sympathy. I mean if two girls fell in love with one guy, or two guys are crazy about the same girl. In such cases, conflicts cannot be avoided. It is difficult to help in solving these problems. Those people, who are involved in it should resolve everything themselves and come to the same conclusion. As practice shows, such conflicts are very popular among first-year students. Boys can even fight.
2) Rivalry. Maybe it is strange enough the competition of knowledge can become the reason of the conflict. For example, imagine the situation: the student answers at the board and the other student prompts him so loudly that even the teacher hears it.
In my opinion, in such circumstances, the conflict is inevitable, especially if the teacher puts a bad mark to the student who was answering and is glad about knowledge of that fellow who prompted. I think there are many reasons for such behavior, and one of them is envy.
3) Controversy served the cause of truth. In fact, this is not always so, as the dispute can be the beginning of a large-scale conflict between classmates. The topic for wrangling can be different. You know it is very easy to make an elephant out of a fly.
4) The struggle for leadership. The academic group necessarily has a student whom we call leader (it is not always the monitor). This leader is the main “generator of brilliant ideas” and students try to listen to him in any case. If you want to be the best leader you need to be well-known with some issues. If there are two people who are pretending to the leading position, then it is not possible to resolve this situation peacefully. Gradually, the conflict is growing, and the group is conditionally divided into two camps, where no one wants to surrender.
5) Betrayal. If a student substitutes his friends before a teacher, he must understand that he cannot avoid conflict in his academic group. It happens, when all the students together decided to miss some classes but there is one “black sheep” who can come to the class and even tell the teacher about plans of all the classmates. How do you think, what is waiting for this “clever” student? I think there is nothing more important than decency and honor.
These are only those few situations that can lead to conflict between students, and at last, everything depends on the character, upbringing and vital world outlook. Sometimes such an unpleasant situation leads to a fight and sometimes it ends, as soon as started. To resolve the conflict does not need to apply for help to a psychologist immediately (except the particularly serious situations). The main thing is that each participant of the conflict should be honest with himself and with the rest, and of course, to have the great desire to make up a quarrel and put an end to all this.
How to resolve the conflict
If the student has problems with his classmates, he becomes sad and does not want to go to the university. But it is not the best decision to hide from everything and everybody as the problems will not disappear by themselves. It will be better if you quickly start resolving the certain conflict. Negative emotions can ruin your studying and it is very dangerous to stay alone in the team (http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/loneliness-and-its-influence-on-the-body). Here are the most popular tips for different conflict situations.
1) Keep calm and composure. Pretend that nothing has happened, maybe it will help you. If after a conflict, you come to the university keeping calm and pretending that nothing happened the day before, it is possible that the opposition will also calm down and the conflict will gradually be resolved. If the student is calm, then he is confident in himself and his rightness and classmates understand that it is senseless to ask stupid questions connected with the certain situation.
2) Start a conversation on your own. The conflict had happened and you feel bad now. I told you earlier that missing classes is not a good idea. But there are no desperate situations. Gather all your classmates together and prepare the speech. You should explain everything what you think about it and also listen to their opinions. Do not delay this conversation for later. You need to sort things out as quickly as possible. Such openness in conversation will attract the attention of other students and perhaps, by the end of the monologue the situation will be solved.
3) To admit that you were wrong. If the student understands that he was wrong and his classmates are right in their attitude to him, then he must publicly admit his injustice. I do not mean that you should apologize to everyone but be sincere in your conversation with all classmates, apologize to your group; it's not embarrassing at all. Your classmates will see that you understand that you are wrong and forgive you. Everything will be okay and everybody will be happy again.
4) Make friends with the leader. If you cannot resolve the conflict yourself, you can ask the leader of your team for a help. You know, there are always such people in the team whom everybody respects. Among students, it can be your monitor. Nobody will offend the leader's friend, and the conflict will be completely forgotten in the near future. But this tip is not for every situation as the conflict can be between you and the monitor.
I am sure that if you appreciate your friends and classmates, you will do all the best to resolve conflicts and try to live in peace in mutual understanding. There are no perfect people, remember it.
If the conflict appeared, you should know about some things which are not necessary to do at once:
So in this situation, it is required to act deliberately, so as not to humiliate yourself, and not to offend your interlocutors with your arguments. Only a compromise will make it possible to forget about the conflict that has happened.
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