People fall in love and then marry. When they listen to the Mendelssohn march and happy walk to the altar, the husband and wife are sure that they are together forever. Today our best custom writing service on the Internet wants to talk about the effects of divorce on children essay. Nowadays the divorce is a common thing and it is interesting to read about the divorce rate in your country. People gave up and do not want to fight for the future of their family and children, they decided to leave everything and give away. All the confessions of love and vows of faithfulness are forgotten and instead of them come quarrels, disagreements, misunderstandings and divorce. People, who wanted to live all the life together, suddenly understand that they do not love each other and maybe never loved. Nobody thinks about divorce during the wedding day as they are sure that there is nothing more important than the family is (http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/essay-about-my-family-the-most-valuable-in-life). And I want to ask you why many couples who are so happy today, can’t see each other in several years? The divorce is always bad but the divorce in families with children is much worse. Parents are responsible for children, and they can’t even imagine how the life in the patchwork families can change the children’s life. Read this essay and you will get to know the main information about how divorce influences on children of different age.
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No child left behind essay (the details of the divorce)
The divorce is very difficult for both: wife and husband but it is much more difficult for their children or child. And I do not know why most parents don’t think about it. Patchwork families (when the child always lives with the one parent) are very popular now, but they do not make children happy at all. That is why we want you to pay attention to children’s emotions when parents decided not to live together. All the families all over the world have something in common (http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/features-of-families-in-different-countries-of-the-world). Maybe if you are young, this essay will be useful for you as you can think twice before saying “Yes” to your honey, make sure that your love will not come to the end in a year or two. Your little children will suffer from it. Maybe you are a wife or husband and you feel that something is wrong with your family. I implore you, for God's sake, sit down together and think what you can do while it is not too late. People make mistakes and all the time regret about them but it is too late to change something. Think about your child’s future and do all the best to save your family.
So, let’s talk about the divorce. There can be different reasons for it and it does not matter who is guilty, I can say that both parents contribute to this process. After the divorce the child or children stay with one of the parents. The practice shows that it is mother, who continues take care of her kids (http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/essay-about-my-mother-and-her-role-in-my-life) and dad just pay money and visits the family several times a month. It is the standard scheme, which is held by most couples who decided to divorce. The time flies, and the mother or father meets another person. It can be a second wife/husband, girl-friend/boyfriend, fan or a partner in one word. And other children will be born. And you can guess that children are suffering from this situation most of all. If father or mother can be happy again with a new partner but it is very difficult for the child to love an unknown man, who took his father's place (the same can be said about the stepmother).
Often children think that they are the main reason why father left the mother. In reality, when the couple decided to divorce the children never become the main reason. For little children is too difficult to understand that father left only mother but not his lovely son or daughter. Besides, boys are more impressive and vulnerable in this situation than girls. For little gentleman it is very difficult to forgive (http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/forgive-and-forget-essay-it-is-possible) and understand such father’s action.
The real situation
I want to tell you the story about my friend’s family. When he was a ten years old boy his father and mother decided to divorce. The reason was quite banal: dad became more successful at work, starts work from home a lot, began to come home later, have dinner at expensive restaurants and first of all got a mistress. When he left the family the poor boy was shocked. He had the elder sister and lovely mother. They were happy together, despite the fact that it was too difficult for mother to bring up two children. She worked as a teacher and knew where to hire cheap essay writing service. My friend became a handsome and successful young man; he started to work from an early age, as he understands he can never ask for money from his mother. Nowadays he has a well-paid job, but he struck out his father from his life forever. By the way, his sister got married and has three children, and she still easy communicates with the father and even let him spend time with grandchildren. My friend loves his sister and respects her family, but he can’t understand her attitude to father, who caused them too much pain. How could she be so calm as if she had forgotten all that had happened? From this story we can come to the conclusion that in some children’s hearts the divorce engenders hate and this hate can stay for the whole life. It is very difficult for them to forgive or apologize. More about forgiveness you can find in essay on apology.
Every child is special and it is difficult to anticipate his or her reaction to divorce but in this essay we will try to describe the common reactions which have children in the certain age.
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As for the parents, usually, they are very angry with each other, because everyone blames the other for everything that happened, well, and in relation to the child usually they feel guilty. Therefore, many moms and dads make the same mistake - they start to pamper their little ones. But this is a false way of manifesting love and children understand it very and very quickly. They noticed that the attitude of the parents changed. But the biggest mistake is to stop communicating with your children. Some parents can explain their actions; they prefer to send money regularly and not to meet with the kids to avoid explanations and awkward situations. To tell the truth, I can’t imagine the worse behavior than this. In such cases mother created different versions where father disappeared (if the kid is too small). “Your father is a great man, he is too busy and all the time spends on his own ship or your father is a perfect pilot, and he is often in the sky with his plane”. Children need to believe in this fairy tales for some time, but early or later they will get to know the truth. And it will be the bad news and revelations for them. As for me, I am not sure that it is the best way to save your kid, telling him or her different brainchildren connected with their father or mother. It is up to you to decide what you will do in this situation. I hope that you will never have to face it, but if it happened – ask God to give you a lot of wisdom. It is very difficult to raise a baby alone. In Christianity the divorces are forbidden. Check the information about others belief systems essays.
Influence of parental divorce on children (depending on their age)
In this case, the parental divorce is not important for the baby. Most often children just do not notice it as they are too little to understand what happened. Most of the time, the baby had been with the mother before, so there only a little changing for him. The only thing that the baby can feel is that if the mother is depressed, often crying, very worried because of the divorce, then the child will be negatively reflected. Therefore, you just have to pull yourself together and live on, trying to remain as calm, cheerful and happy as it possible in your situation.
At this age children also understand a little, the characteristics of this age is quite known. But the child can start asking questions: why father never comes to us, where is my father, I want to play games with him. The psychologist advice to answer on these questions honestly and to tell children the truth. Maybe it is worth to explain everything at once. In this case, the children can perceive everything as normal development of events and will not suffer. But if the child spent a lot of time with his father, then his absence can greatly affect the child. Sensitive babies may have trouble with sleeping, if mother will not care of the baby a lot, child can begin to live in a fictional world.
In this age children do not need the services of qualified essay rewriter editor but they understand a lot of things and if they notice that something is wrong with the parents they can perceive the situation in the special way. Some children immediately start to invent ways how to reconcile parents. Little inventors can come up with ridiculous and absurd tricks, which in their opinion will necessarily reunite their family – to observe this is both sad and touching. You should never forget that children of this age are especially attached to parents of the opposite sex - girls adore their dads and boys cannot live without the mother. Therefore, if at this age the father leaves the family, the girl can carry the insult to the masculine gender through the whole life. In essay on The catcher in the rye we read a lot about children which parents did not take care of them.
At this age, children understand almost everything. However, this usually only gets worse for them. Developed intellect and mind can cause the feeling of guilt, fear, depression and other unpleasant psychological disorders. Moreover, sometimes children can feel themselves derelict in their children's companies, especially among children who have full families. Parents need to pay a great attention to such children, tell them that they are loved ones as often as possible. But you should understand one simple thing – to love and take care of your kid does not mean to pamper him and do everything he asks. In the Doll’s house essay we see the mother who was overly concerned about her family.
The teenagers are the most difficult children as this period of life is not easy for them even if everything is quite okay in the family. Surviving divorce for children at this age can be more difficult than for the parents themselves. They think that divorce is the end of everything. All problems are increasing, the child is in despair - such a scheme is common for children experiencing parental divorce. Teenagers may behave inadequately, be rude, miss classes, and do not learn well, they sit at the computer monitor (we know how to beat computer addiction). It will be necessary to pull all your patience and endurance together to help the child survive the separation.
The teenager also worries about his future, but he does not imagine his future life, and what awaits him - because of extreme self-doubt. It is necessary to talk with the child, explain to him that his future remains exactly the same as before the divorce, that it depends on his studying, behavior and has nothing to do with parents’ problems. You should be careful not to lose the child at this age. Be always ready to talk and help. Remember, if you lose the trust of a teenager, he won’t talk to you anymore and it will be very difficult to restore a relationship.
How to help your child
If the child is the only one in the family, it is very difficult to him to go through the parental divorce. If there are brothers and sisters in the family, children can share experiences and thoughts with each other and support themselves. But if the child is alone, he in most cases remains alone with his problem - friends who have not gone through like that will not understand, parents themselves are experiencing their tragedy - there is nobody to share his problems with.
If there is such an opportunity, then visit the therapist. The specialist will be able to talk with the baby and find out his fears and anxieties - this will help in future communication with child. The specialist can also help the child to understand what happened and what the reasons were. The doctor will prove that child has nothing to do with this and is not his fault that his parents divorced.
It is necessary to communicate with the child, communicate clearly to him and explain with whom he will live, why it happened, not to forbid him to see his other parent, unless, of course, if it is not an extreme case. Be sure to let the child know that both parents still love him and will continue to take care of him, the only difference is that they are now just living in different houses. I am sure that these tips on forgiving others will be useful for children and parents.
Consequences of divorce for a child
1) Depression. In most cases, the child will definitely be in a depressed mood for a while after the divorce, especially if one of the parents is suffering from alcohol abuse (read the essay on alcohol abuse). And it depends only on the parents themselves, whether this condition will reach a serious depression. If you spend more time with the baby, explain everything honestly, than negative consequences can be avoided.
Depression is treacherous and can take hidden forms. It can prove itself in a few years. But after the divorce, the child can have the repeated nightmares. This is to say that the child also has depression. Some parents decided to stay together only for kids but I am not sure that it is the best decisions.
2) Increased sensitivity. The child becomes to behavior strange. If earlier he used to react normally, now he can begin to be rude, offended and demonstratively suffering. Do not be angry with him and do not scold him. Understand that such resentment, irritability and nervousness is a cry for help. The child himself is afraid and does not know how to tell you about his feelings.
3) May be fears and phobias. As a result of divorce, the child may be afraid to stay alone. He is afraid that the mom, as well as dad, cannot come back. It is necessary to understand this fear and explain to the baby that the mother is always there. The information about popular fears is here - http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/face-your-fear-list-of-10-popular-fears. If parents often were swearing in the presence of the child, then such moments also will not disappear by themselves. But with further normal quiet life and gradual recovery of the nervous system, panic attacks and fear will go away.
4) Guilt. Sometimes a child can direct his sadness inside by starting to blame himself for the fact that his parents divorced. He feels guilty for the parental divorce. By the way, such children can be very socially adapted - helpful, pleasant in communication, modest. But if you notice such qualities in your child, carefully observe him and talk a lot with him, maybe inside him there can be a whole range of negative experiences.
Also, divorce leads to that fact that children start study worse. The child begins to miss classes and ignore the home tasks (buy custom college essay immediately); he has lost motivation, the desire for success and new achievements. This is too bad but you can help the child, be as close as possible and teach him not to give up.
Teenagers can even run away from home, seriously interfere with the parent they live, miss school classes. A child can begin to conflict with friends and classmates because of his sensitivity. It may seem to him that others laugh at him, do not like him etc. Read this post if you want to be more confident - http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/avoid-doing-this-thing-to-become-confident.
The child may begin to have insomnia, sometimes sleepwalking. And in some cases, he can start to sleep a lot. Such disorders after a while pass, especially if the further family situation will be sufficiently stable and communication with the other parent will not be interrupted.
I hope that divorce will not persuade the place in your life but if this tragedy happens you should predict the reaction of your and what to expect from your baby. Be careful, love your family and live long and happily! If you need a help with writing tasks – make the order on our English writing website. Managers are online all the time and waiting for your messages. Our prices are always attractive! Today there are many scammers on the Internet who want to take your money and are not going to write the paper for you. It is awful to meet such people in your life. Be careful, choosing the homework sites for students. I hope that these effects of divorce on children essay was interesting for you.